FET here we come!

I saw my doctor yesterday and he double checked to make sure my cysts have stayed away and existing ones getting smaller.  They are, so our plan is still in place.  I will begin my BCP on Sunday, then begin my Lupron shots on June 1st.  I'll do those until my ultrasound on June 24th, when they'll be able to set an actual transfer date.  I am so happy to finally be moving forward and to find my hope again.

I haven't decided for sure, but am thinking I might keep this FET under wraps.  I told my older sister about my appointment, and am not going to keep her in the dark.  I am going to let her be my support during this and then she can help me find the BEST way to surprise my family.  I know we won't be able to keep it a secret until the 12 week mark, so I'm sure we'll tell them right away.  But for now, my plan is to act as though the cysts are still there and that we're hoping for a late July transfer...But really?  I will know by then if it took and can have fun surprising them.  Everyone going through this knows that it sucks with IF, that the element of surprise is completely taken from us.  But I'm taking control back!  I want this to be a fun time for us, and let these last few months melt away and be forgotten in our bliss.  (I know that people in my family know about this blog, so if you know my plan, just tell me you read this post, and you can be in on the surprise too!  ;) )

In other news, W and I are now another year older.  My bday was on Wednesday (14th) and W's is today.  One year older and no where closer to the same goals we had last year.  I am always a bit sad when a birthday comes and I feel like we have nothing to show for it.  But today, at lunch with W, he pointed out how lucky we are.  We found each other and make a good couple.  We love spending time together and make each other laugh daily.  We are content to just be together every day, and not have to be doing anything fancy.  We truly do have so much we want and need, and we aren't in a mountain of debt because of it.  We were able to do IVF, along with going on vacation each Jan, before and after IVF, and that's pretty cool.  We are working on plan for the future, even before a baby would be here.  We are working on a future for after a baby could arrive next Spring.  And we are working on it together.  We are so blessed.  So even though, I hate the idea of moving forward without every single thing I've set my mind to (like a baby), at least I am moving forward with W.  These hardships and heartache have only strengthened our relationship and I hope that means will help make us better parents because of it.

Quotes

I was just reading on an online forum this morning and came across this quote that made me tear up and had to share it.   Then figured I may as well add a few more of my favorites to this post too. (Yes, I tend to love those surrounding my absolute favorite of "Bring on the Rain" and red umbrellas.  :) )

"I don't know why we have been chosen to undertake such a painful journey, why we must go through such struggles to bring our children into this world. But I do know that when we look into our babies' faces, they will never have to wonder if they were really wanted. Ours are the children who, no matter how they came to us, will look at their parents and know from the deepest places in their heart, how much we cherish them, and how we labored to give them life. And in that there is no greater security and no greater gift." - Dr. Randine Lewis, The Infertility Cure