Some Beach...

Work is a drag right now.  I'm staying busy, but I just don't want to be here.   Things at home have gotten a lot better.  I talked to W and was able to explain all my feelings and he had no idea I had been feeling so down about the way things were going.  He's always busy and doesn't seem to notice the days that I'm extra quiet or sad.  But he's been putting in more of an effort to make sure he lets me know he's thinking of me.  We've taken the dogs running with us the last couple of days after work and even though I"m sore, it's so worth it.  I want to get into good shape, for the first time in a few years.  I've reached a point that I can't hide the love handles and pooch anymore.  I just need to buckle down and get my excercise routine going.  I want to look good in a bikini and I want clothes to fit me without feeling like I'm always needing to suck my stomach in or try and hide the love handles.  I haven't been great at working out yet, but I am hoping that with W's help, we'll be able to push each other into better shape.  We've been talking about taking a vacation to Cali sometime this summer and it's getting me really excited.  I love the beach and the sun.  I just want to spend the time with W and work on reconnecting and figure out how to stay happy forever.  I can't imagine my life without him...but I know that everyone goes through their ups and downs, so I'm not the only one with issues.  I need to work on being more open to new ideas and not being so bratty all the time.  We've made some big decisions about what we'd like to see happen in the next few months.  If all goes according to plan, we'll have our credit card and his school loan debt paid off by the end of June.  We want to either save up for a new house, or we want to save up for a new kitchen and master bathroom and stay in our house for another few years.  So because we both want these things, I'll just need to deal with not wanting to be at work, and just do it.  But I can always dream of this...